Bubba The Zombie Tracker

ZOMBIE DREAMS

Do you ever find yourself dreaming about Zombie Attacks? I have, once anyway.

In the dream the Zombie Apocalypse is going on full bore, and I am stuck in a “safe” house with 2 or 3 other human survivors, and the Zombie Horde is outside, trying to get in.  In this dream, the weapon of choice–and the only way to permanently dispatch a zombie–is a butter knife heated up over the stove flame to red-hot. (I know, I know, but dreams are funny things)

Eventually the Zombies break in to the house via the chimney. Make that 1 Zombie, the King of the Zombies (or Zombie King if you prefer), and he is portrayed by 70s TV personality Bert Convey. An obvious choice, when you think about it. In this dream the Zombies can speak, and one of my ‘housemates’ tries to reason with ol’ Zombie Bert, which gives me just enough distraction and time to heat up one of the stainless steel butter knives and plunge it into one of Zombie Bert’s eyes–the only spot on the Zombie’s bodies where the weapon is effective. The story ends in cliche’ junior high school essay fashion with “. . .and then I woke up.”

So that was my short and sweet Zombie Dream. Any of you have a Zombie dream to share? Put it in the comments below. In the words of the already greatly missed David Letterman, “Remember, this is not a competition, it is only an exhibition . . .”